Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Just Because Life is a Circle Doesn't Mean You Should Hitch a Ride On Mine

First let me inform you that the dogs came home about seven hours after their great escape. They appeared to be fine, just very tired and a little sore. I know their fine this morning because it is the same routine, wake me up, let them out, and now feed us. (Ok they might be hunger since they missed a meal yesterday, but that's not my fault).

I'm a mom and I used to think I was a good one until by three daughters went and jumped off the deep end, seeming to abandon all of what we thought we were teaching them in not only morals and values but life lessons. I was married, pregnant and divorced by 22, so was my oldest Laurie. I had no morals or values and did what I pleased until I was 25 and Savanna seems to be on that path. I had no concept of money and thought it was always available and spent myself into debt by the time I was 25, Jasmine is right on schedule.

I've talked to the girls (well not Savanna lately and as an update she closed her my space or changed it, I used to be able to see the front page and would know she was ok, but yesterday she shut it down) about each of their addictions or lack of judgments. They are each aware of their flaws but then close their eyes and keep going around and around.

I feel especially anxious today about Jasmine because I know what debt feels like and I know what worrying about money everyday feels like. She was given on March 3 a little over $800 in tax return money, it is all gone and she has nothing to show for it. Remember she is also pregnant and the dad is not stepping up. She is home on spring break and I tried to talk to her about it and she cried and boo hooed and then yesterday she spent what she had left. I'm not sure what to do with her. She moves back home to have the baby this May and I don't know how much control I should try to impose on her. We are open about our finances so she has a clear understanding of only spending what you have to.

I just don't understand why they seem hell bent on repeating the circle I've been on, even when they've been told and have seen with their own eyes. Why can't they find a different way?


  1. i "enjoyed" a few years of wayward wandering myself...i made it back...keep them in your thoughts and hearts...perhaps they too are a prodigal.

  2. I hope everything works out for your girls. I seem to be getting my teen drama back from my tween!! I know how you feel :(

  3. There's no teacher quite like personal experience. You can't tell them anything, they know it all already.

    The only thing you can do is offer encouragement, and an ear for listening, or a shoulder, to cry on.

    Hopefully, they'll get through their rough spots and get on a more stable footing.

    And having one move back with a baby? I hope you can all set up some house rules so that you're not taking on burdens that are not your direct responsibility.

  4. Nice to meet you! So nice of you to drop by, and please come by anytime. Glad your dogs came home safe!