Mama Kat has once again posted her writing assignments and this time I had a tough time choosing. I went with prompt number 2: Before I was a mom... (inspired by Loukia from Loulou's Views)
Before I was a mom I was one very confused young girl. I am a single kid who was raised by two gay women, in a small town in the 60’s and early 70’s. I didn’t know my mom was gay until she told me at 13. I suppose the reason it didn’t seem so odd to me was that I never hung around kids my own age but was always in the company of adult gay couples, it was all I knew. It was until we moved to a larger city in my junior high years that I realized that the reason I didn’t have friends was because my parents were gay. In a small town it was frowned upon. I didn’t go to birthday parties and was never invited to anyone’s house. I mention all this because later in my life things would get really out of hand. My mom would leave me with her lover when I was 16 and then I just went wild.
I was the girl that we all hope our teenage girls would not become. I was looking for a hero, a savior to come and rescue me and make it all well. I married the first guy who seemed to fit that bill, but mostly I fell in love with his family, though we did produce a beautiful little girl. I’m grateful that to this day my ex and I, as well as his parents are still very close and friendly. From 21-25 I jumped from the shallows to the deep end. I quit my normal 9-5 job, became a bartender and partied all night long. Quickly I lost all control and drank too much and became addicted to cocaine. Then in October of 1990 I just had enough and knew I had to get my act together. I quit my job and alcohol and drugs cold turkey. In November I met my new husband and we married that December (12-28-90). One year later on November 9 we had our first daughter. Twenty years this December and I can honestly say my life has done a 180. Now I am in college and now I know what I want to accomplish in life. Perhaps life doesn’t go as plan but it is still an adventure and the end has yet to be written.
glad you did that 180...thanks for being real and sharing your story..."i was looking for a savior.." i think that would go in my story...
ReplyDeletelove your story - a new mom like me could learn a lot from your stories... glad to have found you!
ReplyDeleteI think some of us never quit looking for the hero to rescue us.
ReplyDeleteGlad you turned it around...and now you have 20 years under your belt!
What a fighter you are! I love your spirit, and I love how life has unfolded for you now. So great!
ReplyDeleteVisiting from Mama Kat's... Great story! Kudos to you for taking charge of your life and making it better. Thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteHow did i miss this story. Wow! Small town with Lesbian moms must have been rough!! I had a while period too. I quit speed (cold Turkey) a year after your sobriety date. So glad we both made it!
ReplyDeleteoops *a wild period*
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